


December 13 - 12 ticklish uruk-hai

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Multi-Age, Other - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2005-12-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 21:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3744476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Today's writing "mathom" is:</p><p>twelve ticklish uruk-hai</p><p>***</p><p>Write whatever you feel like – a drabble, a poem or a short story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tramping - RiverOtter

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Tramping  
  
Intense bright sunlight  
Twelve Uruk-hai on the path  
Tickly leaves and twigs


	2. Back to the Drawing Board - Gwynnyd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's writing "mathom" is:

This batch looked good: tall, muscular. The dozen Uruk-hai stood at attention under Saruman's inspection.  
  
"Good work, Grizbone," the wizard congratulated.  
  
Grizbone shuffled uneasily. "There may be a bit of a problem."  
  
Saruman grabbed the chin of the nearest Uruk for a closer look.  
  
"Teeheeehee," the Uruk flinched in his hand.  
  
"Tizzaazzuk!" The next orc in line tried to stifle his giggle.  
  
"What?" the wizard roared. He pointed one long finger at the offender.  
  
"Stooooppppnorfiggheehhheeee." 

The whole line of Uruk-hai shook with laughter, collapsing into helpless heaps, unable to breathe through the bouts of giggles that convulsed their mighty frames.  
  
  



	3. 12 Ticklish Uruk-hai - by Lady Masterblott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's writing "mathom" is:

… and 12 ticklish Urukh-hai  
  
Pippin awoke, in the middle of the night, covered with sweat. For a moment, he was overwhelmed by the nauseating feeling of not knowing where he was, until he remembered that he was in a guest room at bag end, visiting Sam and Rosie. And then, he heard it again. A sniffing sound at the door. For a moment he lay still and battled the irrational fear that it was Ugluk coming after him again, Ugluk or any of his sort. This was ridiculous, he told himself. This was Bag End.  
  
The sniffing continued and something - someone, seemed to scratch at the door. The door… Pippin got up and, calling himself a hundred names, among which "fool of a took" recurred several times, and be it for the sake of old habits, carefully manoeuvred himself towards it in the unfamiliar guest room.  
  
When he opened it with a rush, he heard a muffled cry and almost tripped over a small bundle that cowered on his doorstep. In the dim light of the night light further down the hall, he felt it more than he saw it and when he picked it up, it started to bawl.  
  
Belatedly, Pippin realised that the squirming, hot and soggy bundle he held in his arms was Sam's and Rosie's youngest, little Tolman. Who in fact seemed to be a little out of place and terrified by the fact that he was picked up like that in the middle of the night.  
  
"Sshshsh it's me, uncle Peregrin", Pippin had to repeat several times - to no noticeable avail. He was indeed more than grateful when finally, the door opposite opened and a sleepy Merry appeared.   
  
"What's all that noise about?" he asked.  
  
Pippin waved him desperately, and eventually, he donned his gown, lit a candle and came over and took the crying child from Pippin.   
  
And, being a father himself for some years already, while Pippin was still in the stage of trying to become one, albeit most eagerly, he managed quickly what Pippin had not - to soothe the desperate child to an extent that, between sniffles and sobs, they got an impression of what the problem was.  
  
"He'll eat me. He'll eat me. He comes and eats Ma. He ate B…Bilbo. And D…daisy.  And G..g..goldi. And now he's waiting for me!"  
  
"Who, dear?" Merry asked carefully, giving Pippin a meaningful glance.  
  
"The Uruk."  
  
"Rosie will kill us", Pippin muttered.  
  
The boy was still too small and obviously shaken from the really bad dream he had had to be convinced that it had just been that. A dream.  
  
Pippin cast a helpless glance to Merry who just shrugged his shoulders. "You made up this story, now get us out of it again", this meant.  
  
Not that Pippin did not want to. He had always been an imaginative mind himself - if one asked his parents or his teachers (or a certain wizard), maybe a little too imaginative, but there were two sides to everything. And thus, he felt really sorry for having given little Tolman such a bad night by poking a little fun of him and the others. He looked around the room furtively and had an idea.  
  
"I am sure no Uruk ate your brothers or sisters" he started firmly but casually. "I am quite sure they are fine."  
  
The little boy gave him a cautious look. On the edge, but far from being consoled too easily.  
  
"You must know", Pippin continued, giving Merry a sign to continue to rock the child soothingly, "that there is an easy means to keep Uruks away."  
  
A little brow furrowed.  
  
"It's easy, but hardly anyone knows. But it works. 'twas pure chance that we found out about it. It saved our very lives, it did. Because there is one thing   
you must know about Urukhs…"

A thumb was fixed in a mouth while a little head dropped against Merrys shoulder. "Go on", Merry voiced soundlessly.  
  
" - and this one thing is that they are ticklish. Terribly ticklish. They won't dare to attack anyone who carries a" - his glance found then ink and quill set on the desk -"feather. They can't stand that. It as good as kills them. You want to know how we escaped the Urukhs? Merry and me?"  
  
The boy nodded, silently.  
  
"Your uncle Merry had an inkpot and quills in his backpack. And when the whole group of them went ascouting, leaving only twelve of them behind to guard us, I managed to get a hand lose from my ties, and got the feather out of his backpack. And before they knew what had got to them, we had tickled them so hard that they fell to the ground, unconscious. And those who were not, did not dare to touch us anymore because we still had the feathers. So we just…" - "headed for the woods" Merry continued hastily. "And they did not dare to follow us." Pippin concluded.  
  
"Just imagine what their leader told them when he came back. Twelve large Uruks, laying on the ground out of breath from laughing so hard. When he found them, we already had run for quite a while, I can tell you. And we still could hear him yell! Like - well - like your mother when she is REALLY angry. But even he did not dare to follow us when he heard what had happened!"  
  
Eventually, a tiny smile crept over the boy's face even though his thumb did not leave his mouth.  
  
"So", Pippin reached out for the inkset, "I have it on good record that no Urukh will attack anyone carrying a feather." He picked the largest one, a beautiful pheasant feather, and handed it over to the now sleepy child. "If you take this with you, you will be safe."  
  
Little Tolman did not say anything, but he clutched the feather with little, soggy fingers and did not let go.  
  
It was Merry who took over the task to deliver the boy back to his room. When he put him in his bed, the child was already half asleep, but he still clutched the - already somewhat tattered-looking - feather.  
  
"They say that the quill is mightier than the sword"Merry said the next morning to Pippin in appreciative mockery when they were watching the youngest scions of the Gamgee family trampling along merrily through the snowy gardens of Bag End. "But I would never have thought that it was meant THAT way."   
  
Tolman was eagerly trying to keep their pace even if his legs were by far the shortest. He still was clutching the quill Pippin had given him the night ago.  
  
Pippin shrugged and grinned. "Natural talent!" he said.   
  



	4. Untitled - by Wolfwind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's writing "mathom" is:

_Another day-late one, since my thesis draft was due today. It's done! Now I can have fun with drabbles again._  
  
Set while Merry and Pippin are the captives of the Orcs, when the Orcs, Uruk-hai, and goblins argue about what to do with them. Probably slightly AU because I bet Ugluk had more than twelve supporters.  
  
  
Dealing with Uruks was always tickly business. He licked his lips as the leader of the wizard-spawn boasted. This muck-raker showed no respect, not even for the Great Eye; they would have to teach him better, cut his swollen head down to size. Soon Grishnakh would let the Orcs tear these beasts apart. They would show him who were the fighters. His hand tightened on his sword as he waited for the cue.  
  
"Swine is it?" Grishnakh hissed.  
  
He drew his blade, baring his fangs. "We'll hear you squeal, piggy, when we tickle you," he promised Ugluk and his dozen.

* _'We have already overtaken some of those that we are hunting,'  
[Aragorn]said. 'Look!' ... Five dead Orcs lay there. They had been hewn with  
many cruel strokes, and two had been beheaded._ *  
  
* _The Two Towers,_ * LoTR Book 3, Ch 2,* _The Riders of Rohan_ *   



	5. Beorn's Beasts - by Agape4Gondor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's writing "mathom" is:

## Beorn's Beasts

"Where do I start? How in the world do I tell of the things that I have seen? " Merry loved a captive audience.   
  
"The beginning is always best, Merry," Pippin stated matter-of-factly.   
  
The older Hobbit looked at his cousin in annoyance.   
  
"They were huge," he began, "and we were frightened."   
  
"I was not frightened, if I remember correctly," Pip's voice chirped.   
  
Merry scowled.   
  
"They came towards us with swords drawn. One even had a crossbow. It was pointed at my head."   
  
" 'Course, yours is bigger than mine. Though I am the taller."   
  
Merry gave him a withering glance and continued. "The air was filled with the buzz of bees, Beorn's beasts. They united in their attack on the poor Urak-hai."   
  
"Never did I think to hear you say 'poor' when it came to Urak-hai," Pippin said angrily.   
  
" 'Twas before Boromir."   
  
"Ah," Pippin sighed.   
  
"Their helms, armour, and weapons were covered in the honey they had tried to filch. They ran, but the bees were merciless. The Urak climbed higher up the mountain. The bees followed. The Urak tripped into the eagle's nest. Feathers flew everywhere."   
  
" ** _Twelve tickly urak-hai_ ** ran away, howling at the top of their lungs." 


	6. Cln - 12 Ticklish Uruk-hai - by Lady Masterblott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's writing "mathom" is:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

… and 12 ticklish Urukh-hai  
  
Pippin awoke, in the middle of the night, covered with sweat. For a moment, he was overwhelmed by the nauseating feeling of not knowing where he was, until he remembered that he was in a guest room at bag end, visiting Sam and Rosie. And then, he heard it again. A sniffing sound at the door. For a moment he lay still and battled the irrational fear that it was Ugluk coming after him again, Ugluk or any of his sort. This was ridiculous, he told himself. This was Bag End.  
  
The sniffing continued and something - someone, seemed to scratch at the door. The door… Pippin got up and, calling himself a hundred names, among which "fool of a took" recurred several times, and be it for the sake of old habits, carefully manoeuvred himself towards it in the unfamiliar guest room.  
  
When he opened it with a rush, he heard a muffled cry and almost tripped over a small bundle that cowered on his doorstep. In the dim light of the night light further down the hall, he felt it more than he saw it and when he picked it up, it started to bawl.  
  
Belatedly, Pippin realised that the squirming, hot and soggy bundle he held in his arms was Sam's and Rosie's youngest, little Tolman. Who in fact seemed to be a little out of place and terrified by the fact that he was picked up like that in the middle of the night.  
  
"Sshshsh it's me, uncle Peregrin", Pippin had to repeat several times - to no noticeable avail. He was indeed more than grateful when finally, the door opposite opened and a sleepy Merry appeared.   
  
"What's all that noise about?" he asked.  
  
Pippin waved him desperately, and eventually, he donned his gown, lit a candle and came over and took the crying child from Pippin.   
  
And, being a father himself for some years already, while Pippin was still in the stage of trying to become one, albeit most eagerly, he managed quickly what Pippin had not - to soothe the desperate child to an extent that, between sniffles and sobs, they got an impression of what the problem was.  
  
"He'll eat me. He'll eat me. He comes and eats Ma. He ate B…Bilbo. And D…daisy.  And G..g..goldi. And now he's waiting for me!"  
  
"Who, dear?" Merry asked carefully, giving Pippin a meaningful glance.  
  
"The Uruk."  
  
"Rosie will kill us", Pippin muttered.  
  
The boy was still too small and obviously shaken from the really bad dream he had had to be convinced that it had just been that. A dream.  
  
Pippin cast a helpless glance to Merry who just shrugged his shoulders. "You made up this story, now get us out of it again", this meant.  
  
Not that Pippin did not want to. He had always been an imaginative mind himself - if one asked his parents or his teachers (or a certain wizard), maybe a little too imaginative, but there were two sides to everything. And thus, he felt really sorry for having given little Tolman such a bad night by poking a little fun of him and the others. He looked around the room furtively and had an idea.  
  
"I am sure no Uruk ate your brothers or sisters" he started firmly but casually. "I am quite sure they are fine."  
  
The little boy gave him a cautious look. On the edge, but far from being consoled too easily.  
  
"You must know", Pippin continued, giving Merry a sign to continue to rock the child soothingly, "that there is an easy means to keep Uruks away."  
  
A little brow furrowed.  
  
"It's easy, but hardly anyone knows. But it works. 'twas pure chance that we found out about it. It saved our very lives, it did. Because there is one thing   
you must know about Urukhs…"

A thumb was fixed in a mouth while a little head dropped against Merrys shoulder. "Go on", Merry voiced soundlessly.  
  
" - and this one thing is that they are ticklish. Terribly ticklish. They won't dare to attack anyone who carries a" - his glance found then ink and quill set on the desk -"feather. They can't stand that. It as good as kills them. You want to know how we escaped the Urukhs? Merry and me?"  
  
The boy nodded, silently.  
  
"Your uncle Merry had an inkpot and quills in his backpack. And when the whole group of them went ascouting, leaving only twelve of them behind to guard us, I managed to get a hand lose from my ties, and got the feather out of his backpack. And before they knew what had got to them, we had tickled them so hard that they fell to the ground, unconscious. And those who were not, did not dare to touch us anymore because we still had the feathers. So we just…" - "headed for the woods" Merry continued hastily. "And they did not dare to follow us." Pippin concluded.  
  
"Just imagine what their leader told them when he came back. Twelve large Uruks, laying on the ground out of breath from laughing so hard. When he found them, we already had run for quite a while, I can tell you. And we still could hear him yell! Like - well - like your mother when she is REALLY angry. But even he did not dare to follow us when he heard what had happened!"  
  
Eventually, a tiny smile crept over the boy's face even though his thumb did not leave his mouth.  
  
"So", Pippin reached out for the inkset, "I have it on good record that no Urukh will attack anyone carrying a feather." He picked the largest one, a beautiful pheasant feather, and handed it over to the now sleepy child. "If you take this with you, you will be safe."  
  
Little Tolman did not say anything, but he clutched the feather with little, soggy fingers and did not let go.  
  
It was Merry who took over the task to deliver the boy back to his room. When he put him in his bed, the child was already half asleep, but he still clutched the - already somewhat tattered-looking - feather.  
  
"They say that the quill is mightier than the sword"Merry said the next morning to Pippin in appreciative mockery when they were watching the youngest scions of the Gamgee family trampling along merrily through the snowy gardens of Bag End. "But I would never have thought that it was meant THAT way."   
  
Tolman was eagerly trying to keep their pace even if his legs were by far the shortest. He still was clutching the quill Pippin had given him the night ago.  
  
Pippin shrugged and grinned. "Natural talent!" he said.   
  



End file.
